Searching for Me

August 13, 2011

Time flies.

Filed under: marriage,relationships — by Maci Mae @ 2:33 AM
Tags: , ,

 Time flies when you’re surrounded by drama. It’s been a whole week since I posted anything but I have been busier than a one-legged man in an  ass-kickin’ contest.  Lots of stress, which I usually avoid like the plague, but have been unable to dodge this time.  I won’t go into detail just now, but I would appreciate it if my Christian friends would pray for JC to be completely healed.  A miracle would be real nice right about now.

DH has been home more than usual which is nice, but I think  it added as much stress as it alleviated lately. It all came to a head  Wed. night when he came home unexpectedly and I ended up throwing a temper tantrum. I even got in the car at 11pm and left the house. I go more than a year with no problems & then have three fits in two months. I wanted attention and instead of being an adult and speaking up I acted out. I could give some good reasons, but there is no excuse. Now I feel like an idiot.

Actually, I tried to speak up, but I did it sort of half-way. I told DH that I was so numb that Ms. Cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat here couldn’t even tear up.  And he was trying to treat me with kid-gloves so he was giving me space I didn’t want or need. Finally, when the tantrum was over,  we made love, and in the middle of it I busted into tears for the first time in over a week. Scared HD because he thought he was hurting me. All that emotion just poured out.

He’s asking more DD questions, still trying to wrap his head around “hurting” me. We are talking a lot more than we did.  He did get very authoritative and tell me that I am not to call him names when I’m mad anymore & that when we start, this tantrum would be dealt with.  Guess he has the clean slate concept down. Yay….I think.

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1 Comment »

  1. Hope things are going well!

    Comment by Meow — September 16, 2011 @ 3:53 PM |Reply


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